Goku's Crush
by taka003
Summary: Goku discovers the bitter sweet feeling of a blossoming love. GokuxHakkai
1. Chapter 1

A/N Greetings First time writing from Goku's perspective, so be mindful of that if you review. Of course I own nothing, except the sad pillow I sit on while I write this.

My most favorite time of the day, well aside from breakfast time, lunch time, snack time, well you get the picture. Anyway my very most favorite time of the day is just after Hakkai gets out of the bath. He smells so good and warm, like cinamon almost. Sometimes when he's not real tired from driving or cooking, he will sit with me and read aloud and not the kid books he used to read while I lived at the temple. He now reads me real books that are about life, love, far away countries and interesting people. He has such a kind voice I end up drifting off sometimes not really listening to the words. Then sometimes when I'm really lucky he lets me lay my head on his leg and he pets my hair. He has such a nice touch, unlike the rough one of Gojyo or the painful one of Sanzo. Hakkai's is safe and comforting even though he is a fierce fighter. I think he strokes my hair unconscenciously because he does the same thing to Hakaryuu or Gojyo from time to time. I have to admit I get a bit jealous of Gojyo, but they are best friends although the hentai kappa pushes himself on Hakkai. I have been watch and waiting for the right time and finally after months of wondering and worrying I decided to talk to Gojyo about Hakkai.

…

"Gojyo, can I talk to you for a bit?" I felt a bit foolish asking the hentai kappa for advice, but who else did I have? Sanzo, yeah right.

"Sure what's up monkey boy?" he grinned lopsided at me and nudged my shoulder.

"I'm serious, can I ask you something?" I sighed.

"Yeah go ahead"

"I want to ask you ….well like a buddy or a big brother…I need you to tell me something." I knew I was stammering but I didn't quite know how to form my words. I didn't have much practice talking about my feelings.

"Goku" He peered down at me "spit it out, you know I'll listen I'm not that big of a jerk."

"I know it's just…well what's up with you and Hakkai?" Shit I said it. Now he's going to either punch me or tease me.

"What do you mean?" he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Well, you guys lived together and are close right? ….I guess…do you…well you are a pervert and all, so I thought…..." Damn it, why can't I just say it?

"Ah, you have a crush on my friend huh? What about Sanzo?" He looked at me seriously, something I don't see very often from Gojyo unless he's fightin'

"Sanzo? What about him?" Oh no Gojyo must like Hakkai too and is trying to steer me away from him by bring up Sanzo. Shoot, what if I am too late and Hakkai likes him back? Now I sound like a stupid little kid.

"I thought for sure you were blinded by love for our crabby priest." He took a drag and sat down on the ground leaning his back against the Inn's wall.

"I like Sanzo...sure...he did save me and I would do anything for him, but it's not like that. Our relationship is more like ….well, sort of what he had with his master. I mean I am really glad he came to the mountain and rescued me and all. Plus he let me stay with him at the temple even if the other monks hated me. Sure he likes to whack me and pretend he doesn't care, but I know he does." I had began rambling. I plopped down next to Gojyo and rested my head on my knees.

"Wow, and all this time I thought you two were…never mind. So, you want to know if I'm your competition right." He leaned over and peered into my eyes. "Don't worry your fuzzy brown head. I like Hakkai he's a great guy, a little weird sometimes, but not in any romantic way. Just like what you said about Sanzo, I would do anything for my best friend. Shit I wouldn't have saved his ass so many times if I didn't care. Of course we did live together for quite some time and I admit I did sneak a peek or two at him when he got out of the shower, I…. well shit…he's quite a looker. I could see how you could be attracted to him. Hell who wouldn't. He's handsome, great body, cooks, cleans and can bandage up our sorry asses all with a smile."

"Well yeah." I chuckled weakly.

"Like I said, don't worry. He has a soft spot for you anyway. I know he has been noticing how you have grown up a bit. I mean shit you were how old when we met 13 or 14? At least now you aren't jail bait." He laughed.

"Really?" Man I really hope so, but Gojyo would know he seems to understand Hakkai the best.

"Sure, why do you think he lets you lay all over him when he reads?" He chuckled and rubbed my head.

"You….you noticed?" I couldn't help but blush.

"Of course. Now you just need to take it slow, ya know. Shit the poor guy hasn't been laid in like years"

"Gojyo! Like I would be a sick hentai cockroach like you" Man I wanted to punch the smart ass.

"You silly kid…" He pushed me and we wrestled around until Hakkai called us for dinner.

After our talk I started to see Gojyo differently. Sure he was still a loud mouth hentai kappa, but he understood me. He also wanted Hakkai to be happy, truly happy not the fake happy. Since I had made my decision to go through with my pursuit of Hakkai, I felt better not quite so unsure of my feelings. How Hakkai would take my advances was another thing. Could I help heal his heart after loosing Kanan or would I make it heavier?

"Hey Hakkai what you doin' after dinner?" I had hoped to go for a walk or something just him and I could do.

"Nothing really Goku, do you need me to do something for you?" he smiled at me as he put another scoop of rice in my bowl without me asking for it. He always knew I wanted more.

"No, just thought you might like to go for a walk. I saw a cool bee hive near the back if the Inn and well… we could check it out." Geez. I cursed myself…real cool.

"Sounds interesting, I think I would like to see it." His smile was a real one and it crinkled his eyes. He was so handsome when he smiled for real.

"What the hell for? All that will happen is the monkey will try to talk you into getting at the honey and both of you will bitch about getting stung." Sanzo grumbled.

"I won't let Goku get hurt Sanzo. Besides, it sure beats sitting here being grouchy." He sort of smirked at Sanzo.

I think it's funny when he does that to Sanzo. I like my mentor well enough, but he does need to lighten up.

"Yeah Sanzo-sama, but then again if you went with them you might learn something and that would be terrible." Gojyo poked Sanzo in the arm.

"Piss off all of you; I'm going to take a bath. I don't want to hear any of you complain when you get swarmed." He left and we all laughed behind his back.

"Well I'm going to take a shower and find a poker game. I need a bit of spending money anyway." Gojyo ruffled my hair and headed up stairs.

"So Goku should we go see this amazing bit of nature after I clean up?" His green eyes sparkled with interest.

"Yeah" I jumped up excited to have some time alone with Hakkai. Plus I really did want him to see this thing, it was huge. I remember him telling me that when he was a teacher he would take the students on trips to see interesting things.


	2. Chapter 2

I walked beside Hakkai and watched as he looked at the ground. He was quiet and thoughtful, but he has been for the past few days. "What ya thinking about Hakkai?"

"Oh, nothing much Goku just something that I need to work out." He rubbed the back of his head and grinned at me.

I noticed he does that when he is either feeling shy or embarrassed. Maybe he didn't want to be alone with me. I wonder if he can smell things like I can and knows that I like him.

"Did you and Gojyo have an argument recently?" He stopped at the tree line waiting for me to show him the way.

I will kill that cockroach if he said anything. "No not really, why?"

"I noticed that he as been acting differently towards you and I assumed he was trying to make up for his insult by being extra nice." He chuckled.

I smiled feeling relieved. "Naw, we just had a chat and came to an agreement. I'm not a kid anymore and well he said he would try to treat me better." I shrugged. "We're cool, but he's still a hentai kappa."

Hakkai laughed. "That he is" His green eyes sparkled for a moment and I wished he would show that side of himself more. We walked into the trees and I spotted the hive.

"That's quite an impressive hive, but I don't think we should get too close." He squatted down and looked up.

I sat on the ground next to him and shifted around to get comfortable. "You think they have honey like Sanzo said? The Monks at the temple would sometimes let me have a taste, but I think they did it just so I would leave them alone. They thought I was a little brat, but I was just curious."

Hakkai patted my shoulder. "I can imagine how hard it was for you at the temple." He looked me in the eyes and ruffled my hair. "You have changed quite a bit since then Goku, but it's still good to be curious, how do you thing I learned so much?" His touch and kind words made my stomach flutter. I wanted to lean into his hand and make him touch me more, but he stood up. "I am afraid there will be no honey for you though, this is a wasp's nest."

"Bummer, oh well it's still cool." I picked up a stick and poked at the papery hive.

"Ah, Goku…I don't suggest angering the wasps, they are aggressive and won't hesitate to attack you." He tugged at the back of my t-shirt and we backed away.

"Oh, then this big hole I made is really going to piss them off isn't?" I dropped the stick and turned to Hakkai.

"Oh dear." He grabbed my arm and ran deeper into the woods. "I do believe you have caused quite a stir. We were lucky we ran so fast, otherwise Sanzo would have his chance to laugh at us." He leaned against a tree laughing.

"Heck yeah, but I think a few got me." I rubbed at a spot on my hand that had started to turn red and sting.

"Let me take a look." He sat down and took my hand in his. I can see why Gojyo says Hakkai has beautiful hands. His fingers were long and thin, but shaped nicely. Even though he doesn't use a weapon, he does have several calloused spots from driving all the time. "Looks like they did get a few stings in, hold still while I remove the stingers."

"Ouch" He took out the stingers and then soothed my wrist with a bit of his chi. It was a weird feeling, but I liked it because it was warm and soothing. "Thanks Kai" I gave him a big smile.

"You are most welcome." He held my hand for a moment longer looking at something.

"What ya looking at?" I bent my head to see.

"You still have faint scars from the chains on your wrists, I never noticed them before." He ran his thumb over them. "Sanzo spoke to me briefly about your time in the cave."

"Yeah? You and Sanzo get along pretty well don't you? Probley cuz you aren't loud and messy."

Hakkai smiled. "I suppose so. We have a few things in common and I know how to make a good cup of coffee, so he tolerates my presence."

"Sanzo says I'll probley have them as a reminder for a long time. They don't bother me like yours and Gojyo's do." I felt him tense. "I mean, when I see them I just think about how happy I am to be free. They make me think of how Sanzo rescued me and then I got to meet you guys and now we are good friends…" I heard myself ramble and stopped. "Sorry Kai." He looked at my wrist and then at me. There goes my gut again, jeez all he has to do is look at me with that serious, but kind face and I melt.

"There is no need to be sorry Goku. It's true I don't have a happy feeling attached to my scar as you do, but it also reminds me of what could of happened if Gojyo had not found me." He started to make circles with his thumb on my palm. "For a long time it reminded me of what I did, what I lost and what I had become. Now that it has been a few years, the memory it's not as bad as it once was." His voice was soft and quiet; I had to lean in to listen.

"Good, because I would hate to have missed out on meeting you Hakkai." I was serious and I think when he looked into my eyes he knew I truly cared for him.

He took a deep breath and looked away. "I'm sorry Goku; I seem to have gone all melancholy on you."

He still had my hand in his. I move a little closer so our shoulders were touching. "It's ok really. You hold too much inside, if you don't watch out you will become grumpy like Sanzo." I nudged him a little.

"I hope not." He nudged me back. "Thank you for being a good listener Goku, I'm sure Gojyo gets tire of listening to me."

"I don't think so; I bet it makes him feel good to know you trust him with your thoughts. He's a good guy in his own way and he likes you too."

He chuckled softly. "I know he does, we have spoken about it before."

Crap, maybe that's the weird scent I'm getting from Hakkai. Maybe he loves Gojyo and knows the feeling won't be returned. Dang...now what? "Can I ask you somethin' Hakkai?"

"You can ask me anything Goku." He had begun to trace the scars on my wrist again.

"Do you love Gojyo?"

"Of course, he is my best friend."

"Oh" I felt my heart drop and I couldn't help but pull away from him.

"Goku?" He looked confused. "Did I do something wrong?"

I shook my head. "No, no" I stood up and took a few steps. "I want to go see the fish in the stream." I ran off. My head was spinning and I couldn't breath. Why would he like someone like Gojyo? The stupid kappa doesn't love him back and he chases women all the time. I crashed through the brush and flopped down on my stomach by the pond. Resting my chin on my hand I splashed the fish with the other hand. Damn it…I let a tear drop and mix with the water. Maybe I am just a stupid monkey.

"Goku" Hakkai sat down next to me. He didn't say anything, just let me lay quietly. I felt a warm hand on my back and like a fool let out a big sob. "Goku? What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just want to be alone" I closed my eyes so I couldn't see his reflection in the water.

"I don't think I should leave you alone when you are so upset. Come here." Hakkai pulled me into his arms and held me as I made a mess of his t-shirt. "Shh…it will be alright." I could hear his voice rumble in his chest and feel his hands run up and down my back. It made me feel safe like when I have nightmares and Sanzo lets me sleep next to him. I began to calm down enough to sit up and look him in the face.

Hakkai wet a clean handkerchief and wiped away my snot. "I bet you think I'm a baby now don't you?"

He held my chin in his hand. "No Goku, it takes a strong man to show his tears to another, I wish I was so strong." Hakkai leaned forward and removed my shoes and rolled up my jeans. Then he did the same for himself. He nodded to the water and he slipped his feet in. "Go ahead it feels good."

I was a little surprised at his suggestion, but now that I had stopped crying and only sniffled a bit, I had to admit it did look inviting. "Oh cold...cold" I jerked my feet back.

"Indeed it is." Hakkai kicked his feet gently and the water splashed up on his pants. "Feeling better?"

"Yeah, thanks." I poked my toes into the mud and stirred it into a cloud of muck. "Hakkai you really think I'm strong?" I peeked from under my bangs because I was still embarrassed about crying like a kid.

"I think you are the strongest one of us all, I admire that about you. Even when things seem hopeless you don't give up and I don't mean just in battle." He lay back on the grass with his arms under his head.

I leaned over and touched his cheek with my damp fingers and watched a drop run down his cheek. My heart felt like it was going to jump out of my chest and I had to swallow a few times just so I could speak. "Ah...ah Kai…I admire you too."

He opened his eyes and the color was so beautiful. His eyes always remind me of the trees at the temple. "Is that why you got so upset when I said I loved Gojyo?"

All I could do was nod and hope he understood why I couldn't speak. I was having a hard time focusing on anything but his skin under my fingers and the look in his eyes.

"I think you may have misunderstood Goku. I love Gojyo, that's true but it is not romantic love. He saved me, cared for me and helped me feel better about what I had become. We are close, but his interests lay elsewhere." He sat up and our foreheads touched. "If I may be so bold…"

Whoa, the moment his lips touched mine I felt a dizzying heat rush straight to my stomach. His lips were warm and soft as he pressed harder against mine. I figured kissing Hakkai would be good, but this was almost too intense. I sat back and I knew I had a stupid look on my face.

He sat up and held my arm. "I'm sorry if that was unwelcome Goku." He licked his lips, like he was trying to taste what was left of my kiss.

I dove forward and pinned him to the grass. Straddling his hips so he couldn't mistake my meaning, I brushed my nose against his neck and smelled that warm welcoming scent I have always loved. "I want more Kai…I really like you and I want more."

"Hmm" was all the sound he made before he tangled his fingers in my hair and pulled me down for another kiss. I didn't have a lot of experience in kissing, so I let him guide me. Hakkai must have understood because I found myself on my back and his slender body pressing my short one to the grass.

Hakkai teased my lips with his tongue and I opened my mouth enough to let him in. I let a small noise escape my throat as the tip touched mine and tasted his mouth. I tasted the tea we had and something deeper, like a sweet, srtong power just below the surface. I pressed deeper trying to get more the taste on my tongue. He moved away and I though he was going to stop. Then I felt his lips on my neck moving towards my ear. Hakkai breathed in the scent of my hair and I knew now that he could use his sense of smell like I did.

"Hakkai…that feels good" I had to arch my back so I could get closer to him. I knew enough about sex to know what was happening. Besides I could smell his arousal and it was making my body react.

"Goku…I…oh gods you smell good." He licked my neck and nipped at my throat. He pushed my shirt up and I gasped as he licked my nipple. I never knew they could feel like that.

"Kai...please "I had no idea what I was asking for, but I needed more. More touch, more tongue, more of Hakkai. My body was tense and I pushed my hips into his body trying to ease some of the pressure.

Hakkai was running his fingers over my chest and kissing my collar bone when he froze. He sat up and pushed a hand through his hair. "Goku…I'm so sorry I shouldn't push this." He stood up and walked away.

"Hakkai, what the hell?" I chased him into the trees and found him leaning against a tall rock. He had his eyes closed and his head tilted back. "Kai, hey why did you leave like that?" I leaned against him.

"Oh Goku, it's just too fast too soon." He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed. "I'm sorry, I just can't."

I snuggled into his chest. "It's ok really. I was sort of nervous, but I didn't want to say anything. Besides I want my first time to be someplace soft and comfy."

His chuckle vibrated my ear. "Thank you for understanding. I think taking it slow would be the best for both of us."

"Yeah, but not too slow I liked that." I wiggled my hips into him to tease him just a little.

"Alright I promise." He did kiss me again. "Should we go back to the hotel? I suppose you are getting hungry."

At the mention of food, my stomach rumbled. "Yeah I am starving." I let go and we fetched our shoes. Then we began walking back to the hotel. Hakkai moved closer and took my hand. "You think Sanzo will change rooms with me?"

Hakkai smiled and gave me a look like he knew a secret. "I am sure the switch has already been made. Sanzo spoke to me earlier today and said he was tired of my complaining and would room with Gojyo tonight."

"Really? He usually hates rooming with the kappa." I didn't care why as long as I could snuggle with Hakkai.

"Well I think he has had a change of heart." He squeezed my hand and winked. "Let's just say it won't be an issue if we want to share a room now and again."

I didn't quite understand, but I was happy to know Hakkai was willing to share my room. Hopefully share my bed soon as well.


	3. Chapter 3

A few weeks after Hakkai kissed me, we were camping out again. I hoped to get a chance to spend some alone time together, maybe go fishing or take Hakaryuu out, but Sanzo messed that up. After dinner he pulled Hakkai aside and they went into the woods together. I could tell Sanzo had been irritated lately, but then again he's usually that way.

"Oh shit monkey looks like Sanzo is jealous." Gojyo said seriously as he watched the two leave.

"No way, he doesn't even know." I was torn between spying and staying put. I put a finger to my lips. "I'm going to go see."

"I suggest ya stay put, monkey it could be dangerous. You know how those two get when they fight." Gojyo shuttered.

"Yeah, but…" I walked real quiet keeping the wind in my face so Hakkai couldn't catch my scent. I found a big rock to hide behind, crouching down I couldn't see real good, but I could hear them.

"I am sure you have misunderstood the situation Sanzo." Hakkai's voice was soft and gentle.

"Don't give me that shit Hakkai, I want to know what the fuck you have done to Goku." I could tell Sanzo was pissed. I supposed I should have talked to him.

"I assure you it is nothing like what you are currently doing with my best friend." Hakkai's voice turned firm and cold. "You forget Goku is his own man, he does not need your approval to seek comfort from a friend."

Oh shit...oh shit …oh shit Hakkai is angry and he is super scary when he's angry. I sort of felt bad for Sanzo.

"Comfort my ass, he's a god damned child Hakkai or is it that you are into kids now, your sister give you a taste of the forbidden? If you were so hard up you should have asked the kappa he has no shame."

I heard someone get slapped and then a rustle of clothes. I knew Sanzo had drawn his gun. I ran out not wanting them to fight about me. "Stop it! Just stop it" I shouted.

They both turned to look at me with the anger of the argument still in their eyes. "Guys….Sanzo don't yell at Hakkai…I started it ok."

"Goku go back to camp this has nothing to do with you." Sanzo tried to order me.

"Yes it does Sanzo. Look, I should have told ya, but I didn't want you to yell at me." I moved between Sanzo's gun and Hakkai.

"Move your ass Goku; I'm going to set your boyfriend straight." He sneered.

"I'm not moving Sanzo and Hakkai's not my boyfriend; I just want to be with someone that will listen and care about me. He's good to me and well I'm tired of being treated like a kid." I folded my arms and leaned back against Hakkai's tense body.

Sanzo glared at me and then at Hakkai, he seemed to be thinking. "Fine do whatever you want Goku, just don't come running to me when he fucks you up." He turned to Hakkai. "This better not get in the way of the mission or I will kill you."

I watched Hakkai try to get his anger under control. "Understood."

I touched Hakkai's arm and he jumped. "I'm sorry Goku; I should have kept my hands to myself. Please forgive me." He turned away from me and ran deeper into the trees.

I just stood there like a fool watching him go. Did he think he forced me? Crap, how would he feel if we had gone any further than just a few kisses and actually slept together? I sighed and slumped to the ground.

"You ok kid?" Gojyo nudged me with his boot. I was so out of it I didn't hear him walk up on me.

"Better then Hakkai I think. Did you see Sanzo?"

He lit a smoke and took a drag before he answered. "Yeah I saw the unholy blur of anger. Damn I don't know what happened, but I haven't seen Sanzo that pissed in a long time. It may take weeks for me to get him to calm down."

"Great and it's all my fault." I picked at the moss unsure what to do.

"How's that?" He sat down next to me. "You may be a monkey, but you're not the Kunshu's pet."

"I should have told Sanzo, now he's so angry at Hakkai I don't think they can fix things. Sanzo said some really mean stuff to him, so bad Hakkai smacked him."

Gojyo whistled low. "Shit it must have been something bad, cuz Hakkai never gets that pissed unless you mention his damn sister."

"He did." I looked at Gojyo. "Should I go talk to Hakkai?"

"You can try; I think he's had time to get himself together." Gojyo stood and shoved his hands in his pockets. "I'll see if I can soothe the blond menace. Good luck monkey."

I nodded and ran after Hakkai. I followed his scent, tailing him to an open area near the bottom of a cliff. I kneeled down by him and snuggled under his arm. "Hey you ok?"

He held me loosely. "I am a little calmer now, thanks." He stood up and took my hand. "I just needed time to think and clear my head. Sanzo may be right; I was too blind too see how my attraction might affect you. I don't know what I was thinking."

I turned and stopped him by placing my hand on his chest. "Don't you start treating me like a kid too damn it. I admit I can be a bit hyper sometimes and I don't have the book smarts like you and Sanzo, but I know what I want."

"I'm sorry Goku; I just want to do what is right for everyone." He covered my hand with his.

"Stop worrying about what is right and do what feels right. You think too much Hakkai." I moved his hand to my cheek and I nuzzled into it.

He chuckled warmly. "You are correct, I do worry. I worry about the affect of this mission on you and your positive out look on life. I worry for Gojyo and hope he finds peace with himself. I worry for Sanzo most of all, I hate to think that he gave me a chance at a new life and all I have brought him was pain."

I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tight. "See; just stop thinking so much, they will be fine. Gojyo is strong and he can take care of himself and Sanzo."

"I don't think Sanzo will let anyone take care of him."

"Oh don't be so sure." I smiled into his shirt.

"And what does that mean?" He combed his fingers through my hair.

"I know what is going on with those two, even though Gojyo is trying his best to hide it." I move my hands down his back and slipped them into his back pockets.

Hakkai took a sharp breath at the touch. "Who said you weren't smart?"

He tipped my chin up and looked into my eyes. "Hakkai, are you upset that Gojyo wants to be with Sanzo?"

"No, I just hope Sanzo is good to him. Gojyo is a wonderful and caring man; he deserves someone to love him."

"You wish it was you he had chosen?" I tipped my head to see him better.

"Not really, he and I are close friends, but I can't give him what he needs." He sighed. "Although, I will miss his warmth during the coldest of nights."

"But you can sleep with me right?" I felt my chest tighten at his words and wished he spoke of me that way.

"Yes of course Goku that is if you want to. I won't push you." He cupped my face and smiled.

"I wish you would. All I can think about lately is how nice your lips felt and how I really want more." I tightened my grip on his ass and pushed my hips into his leg. "I'm tired of waiting."

"Oh" He bent slightly and pressed his lips to mine. "I'm sorry Goku, I just didn't want to go faster then you could handle."

"You know me, I want it all now." I smiled and kissed him back hard making us tumble to the ground.

"Oooff." Hakkai grunted as he took the full impact.

"Oops." I pounced on him playfully, nipping at his lips and neck.

"Umm, I like that." He squirmed under me.

I liked this side of Hakkai. He rarely was truly relaxed. I took the sounds he was making as a go ahead and began exploring his body. I pushed my hands under the t-shirt he was wearing and brushed his scar.

"Ah..Goku?" He tried to move away.

"Not there? Sorry does it hurt?" My fingers hovered over the ragged skin.

"No, I just didn't want you to be bothered by it." He shrugged.

"Didn't I tell you to stop thinking?" I made my words firm, but softened them by stroking his skin tenderly. "It's part of who you are and I don't mind at all."

"Right." Hakkai sat up and removed his shirt. "Go ahead; explore all you want, if that's what makes you happy."

'_Oh man oh man…he's actually letting me do what I want. He never lets people touch him. I admit I wasn't real confident that I could make Hakkai feel good, but was going to try my best. I wanted him so bad.'_

Hakkai kept a gentle hand on me as I teased and tasted his skin. I found out that Hakkai had really sensitive nipples and I enjoyed making him arch his back and pant.

"Goku…ah" He gripped my shoulders and flipped me to my back. "My turn."

His eyes had turned a darker green and his skin was flush with arousal. I could smell us both and it made my mouth water. I took my shirt off and arched up pressing my chest to Hakkai's. I pushed my nose into his hair and took a big sniff. "Ummm"

"Do I smell good?" His voice rumbled in my ear.

"Yeah..." I heard myself whisper. "You know what I mean?"

"Yes I do. I may have my youkai self restrained, but it doesn't mean my senses are limited." He moved his moist mouth over my pulse points and down to my stomach.

"Don't stop this time Hakkai…please." I arched into his lips.

"Alright"

Hakkai made my skin catch fire. His tongue created wet trails of liquid heat as he moved it down my body. He eased my belt open and popped the button. "Kai..I feel..ah..I'm too hot."

"It's normal Goku, just breathe and I will do the rest." Hakkai eased my erection out of my pants.

"Ummm" I writhed on the grass.

Hakkai chuckled and wrapped his lips around my cock and I nearly died. His mouth was hot and wet. The feeling was indescribable, nothing like when I pleasured myself. "OH Ha…Hakkai." He flicked his tongue along the underside and then back to the tip. I felt my legs quiver and I couldn't stop the small mewling sounds. He took me down to the base and I came so hard I saw white spots.

He swallowed all I had to give and then placed tender kisses along my hip bone. "You alright Goku?" His smile was sweet.

"Yeah" I breathed. "Better than good. Where did you learn to do that?"

"Oh, here and there." He rolled me to my side so we could face each other. "I am a little older than you, besides Catholic boys are not that pure." He must be in a great mood if he was teasing me.

"I want to try to do that for you." I trailed my fingers over his collar bone.

"Alright, but we should find cover, it feels like rain." He took my hand and led me deeper into the trees.

We found a huge tree with low hanging branches. "This looks good." I spread our shirts down on the ground. I removed my boots and jeans and then waited for Hakkai.

"Are you sure? I know you wanted to do this in a soft bed." He looked tense again.

"Of course I'm sure, now come here." I patted the ground.

Hakkai sat down and removed his shoes and socks. He slipped out of his jeans and set them aside. He laughed quietly. "I'm so pale next to you."

"Yah, and skinny too, you should eat more." I poked his ribs.

"I'll leave that to you." He caught my hand and put two fingers in his mouth and sucked on them. "I like your body Goku."

That was enough to get me all excited again. "Thanks" I perched myself on his hips and looked down at those green eyes. "Tell me if I do something wrong."

"Don't worry Goku; just do whatever feels good to you." He leaned back, letting me take his boxers off.

I never really thought about other men's bodies. I saw Sanzo's all the time, but Hakkai's was nice. He was slender and pale, but muscled in all the right places. His erection stood nestled in dark brown curls and was similar to mine, yet a little longer and not as thick. I tentatively pressed my lips to the tip and he took a quick breath. I tried to copy what he did for me and soon he was digging into the dirt and groaning. He made such cute noises it made my stomach quiver. I couldn't help but reach down and stroke myself.

I felt him tense and he touched my hair. "Goku…I'm going to come...let go."

I shook my head and suck harder and faster. I was rewarded by a warm, salty splash in the back of my throat; I swallowed it down as I came again all over his thigh. I rested my head on his hip and as soon as I caught my breath, I pulled away. "Oh...wow…I liked that."

He wiped his moist brow and wet his lips. "Me too." He rolled to his stomach and propped his chin in his hands. "You are very good with your mouth."

"Of course." I moved closer and snuggled into his side. "So that's sex huh?" He let me trace patterns on his back. I could see old scars here and there.

"Sort of, well part of it, for some couples that's all they want." He spoke softly and warmly. "It's all a matter of preference and imagination Goku. There is no wrong or right way when it comes to sex as long as you respect your partner."

"Oh, ah…so I was ok?" I was afraid of my inexperience.

He rolled towards me and gave me a tender kiss. "Goku, just because you haven't had a lot of experience doesn't mean it wasn't good." Hakkai held me and stroked my face. "Did you like what I did to you?"

I nodded and smiled.

"Did you like what you did to me?" He touched my nose.

"Yeah" I moved my mouth up and licked his finger.

"Then don't worry. We will take things how they come." Hakkai shivered as I teased his finger.

"Ok." I flung my leg over his and sighed. "I want more Hakkai."

"I bet you do, but you need to learn control." He turned and nipped at my neck. "I think we should head back and get some sleep. It's starting to get cold."

I sat up and pulled on my pants. "Alright, but I want to share a tent with you."

Hakkai stood and got dressed. "I think that will be fine, it will be nice to be warm tonight." He smoothed my shirt and kissed my head.

When we returned to the campsite, I could here Sanzo and Gojyo talking. It was muffled because of the tent, but I could tell they were fighting.

"Yeah, well fuck you Sanzo you act like a spoiled princess."

"If you don't like it then get out."

"Oh no, you're not kickin' me out..deal with it."

I looked at Hakkai. "They're fighting again."

"It appears that way. Let's go to sleep." He opened the flap and dragon eyes looked up.

I changed into my sleeping pants and crawled into my bag.

"I thought you wanted to sleep close Goku?"

"I do."

"Then I'll zip the bags together." He unzipped mine and then connected the two together; He climbed in with just his boxers on. "Better?"

"Much" I snuggled close. "I love you Hakkai." The moment the words left my mouth I knew it was a bad idea. He stopped moving and I could tell he was holding his breath. "Sorry."

"No it's ok." He settled back down and pets my back. "I, just can't say it back Goku. I don't want to break your heart, but I just can't."

"I know it was stupid of me." I felt like an ass. "Just forget it."

"You are not stupid. I was afraid this might happen if I got close to you. You love so easily, I was a fool to think this could be anything but a romance to you." He rolled to his back and stared at the tent.

"What else was it supposed to be?" I sat up and watched him brood.

"I really don't know Goku, I'm sorry. Let's just go to sleep." He closed his eyes.

"Ok" I put my back towards him and sighed. "Good night."

"Good night Goku." He said quietly.

My thoughts didn't let me rest until really late. When I woke Hakkai was gone and I couldn't help but let a tear slide down my cheek.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks for being patient. The cast I had came off and left my hand weak, so typing was difficult. I hope you all enjoy this next chapter.

I wiped my face and got up. I was greeted with the wonderful smell of breakfast; it almost made me forget my sadness. I dressed and headed to the water bucket to wash up and brush my teeth. I rejoined the others and took a seat next to Gojyo.

"Morning runt." He grinned.

"Hey Gojyo where's Hakkai?" I dished up some eggs.

"Getting more water I think." He nudged me. "You guys ok? He seemed a bit quiet this morning."

"Fine" I tried to keep a cool face, but instead I hung my head. "Not really I messed up big time."

He stopped eating. "Yeah? What did ya do? You can talk to me if ya want."

"I know, I trust you Gojyo." I sat the plate down. "I told him I love him and he freaked."

"Oh man, damn kid ya should have waited at least til' you guys had sex to confess something like that." He put his hand on his forehead.

"I did."

"Whoa, you guys? I ..dang he's fast." His eyes opened wide.

I waved his remark away. "He said he couldn't say it back and then got all sad." I scuffed my boot in the dirt.

He let out a sigh. "Give him time. He loves you in his own way; it may take a while for him to work it out in his head, you know he thinks way too much about stuff probley why he's been quiet all morning." He leaned over and whispered. "So how was it? Is he good?"

"Yeah real good, he does this thing with his toun…ah" I started to answer. "Hey, it's none of your business." I had to punch him in the arm.

"Ouch, I was just wondering cuz he's got a great body and fights like a madman; I bet he really knows how to make a person scream in bed." He smile all goofy and I knew he was sitting there fantasying about his best friend.

"Jeez, knock it off you hentai kappa." I tackled him.

"You guys are lively this morning." Hakkai entered the clearing carrying a pail of water, followed by a grumpy looking Sanzo. He gave me a warm smile and shook his head at Gojyo lying on his back.

I stopped fighting, straightened my shirt and sat back down. "Hey Hakkai"

"Good morning Goku, I see you have started eating without me." He sat next to me and scooped some food onto his plate and more on mine.

"I was starving, but Gojyo was being a pervert." I smiled at him.

"No surprise there." He patted Gojyo's head. He looked at me and his eyes gleamed in the morning sun. "Would you mind helping me after you eat Goku?"

Gojyo nudged me. "Sure." I knew this was my chance to apologize to him. Maybe he would tell me why he was with Sanzo this morning. Breakfast was quiet after that. Sanzo was pouting for some reason and Gojyo was not too talkative. Hakkai was usually quiet as he fed his dragon, so that didn't bother me. He picked up the plates and gathered the washing up bucket.

"Ready Goku?" he glanced at the other two. "I will be ready to leave as soon as the dishes are clean and the tents put away Sanzo."

My guardian grunted a reply. Since their argument they have kept their conversations short. I think they were sorting things out in some weird way. I never understood how they communicated so much in just a few words anyway.

I tagged along holding the soap and dish towel. He was walking real fast and my slightly shorter legs had a hard time keeping up. "Hold up Kai."

"Oh, yes of course." He stopped at the stream bank.

"I'm sorry." We said at the same time. I grinned and rubbed my neck.

"Goku, please." He placed a hand on my shoulder. "Let me speak."

I nodded and set the things down. "Ok"

"I am truly sorry for the way I reacted last night. It was completely irresponsible of me to think I could give you the pleasure and closeness you want and not take responsibility for it. Please just give me time; I may yet be able to say those words again. I care for you very much Son Goku." He pulled me into a tight embrace.

"I should have kept it to myself anyway, I know a little bit of how your life used to be. Besides, I'm always saying stuff at the wrong time. I just wanted you to know that I care for you too and you don't need to be so careful with me, I won't break." I nuzzled into his chest.

"I'll keep that in mind." He tilted my head back and kissed me tenderly. "It bothers me to see you sad."

"I know, now let's just forget it ok." I wanted him not to hesitate with me, so I hugged him back.

"Thank you for understanding." Hakkai smoothed my hair, his fingers brushing over my diadem. "How about next time we get a chance to stay in a hotel, I have Gojyo make sure we have some quiet 'study time'. I would like it very much to show you just how much I have been thinking about you." He had a devilish look in his eye.

I didn't know what to say. Hakkai rarely showed anyone this side of himself. It made me feel all warm and tingly to know I got to see it now. "I..I think I would like that."

He patted my ass and turned away. "Now, I need to focus on cleaning." He began washing as I watched and grinned.

"Like the view Goku?" he was in a much better mood, almost flirtatious. He must have sorted everything out in his head, just like Gojyo said he would.

"Ah, I'll dry now ok." I moved to his side.

"Alright, we should hurry or Sanzo will be even grumpier." He gave me a sly wink.

"Ok." I ginned like a fool.

We drove all day and ended up sleeping outside again, but by the third day on the road a village was sighted. I bounced in my seat, excited not only for my private time with Hakkai but because I was really hungry.

"Shut up and hold still." Sanzo snapped.

"Ah, Sanzo I'm supper hungry and my ass hurts and Gojyo is snoring and.." Crap he was fast with the damn fan.

"I said shut it." He growled.

"Now Sanzo-chan the monkey is right, I'm starvin' too." Gojyo leaned forward and brushed Sanzo's hair.

"Now, now we are almost there." Hakkai drove faster. "Just a little longer."

We arrived in one piece and settled in our rooms. After dinner, that was super good, Gojyo took Sanzo out to a bar down the road. I knew he was helping us and himself at the same time. Poor guy had it bad for Sanzo, but nothing would ever come of it I'm afraid. I followed Hakkai to our room and sat on the bed watching him unpack a few things.

"I'm ready." I heard my voice crack.

He chuckled. "I'm sure you are, but I would like to shower and wash my hair. We are fortunate enough to have a private one there." He pointed to a door painted blue.

I blushed at my over eagerness. "Right, that would be nice."

He brought out his shampoo and soap and nodded towards the door. "Would you like to join me?" He looked so unsure and really cute.

"Sure, I'll get my stuff." When I turned around he was already in the bathroom. I could hear the water when I stepped in the room.

"We are in luck Goku; this place has excellent water pressure." He called happily.

"Yeah" I pulled the curtain back and my breath caught. "Wow, you're pretty. I mean…ah handsome."

He grinned and offered his hand. "Thank you, I've always held the opinion that I was too pale and skinny."

"No, you're just fine." I traced his stomach muscles with my fingers, making him shiver.

"Let me wash your hair, it's a mess." He poured his herbal shampoo on my head and scrubbed. He was careful of my diadem as he massaged my scalp. "Ummm, nice."

"Now rinse" He shoved me under and I sputtered. He brushed the water from my face and held up a sudsy cloth. "Let me wash your body Goku." His voice was softer than usual.

The thought of his strong hands all over me made my gut flutter and my cock twitch. "Yeah" I said quietly. I noticed Hakkai was not unaffected either.

"I'll do your front first." He moved the cloth down my arms, chest and stomach leaving no spot untouched. He turned me around and scrubbed my back. But when he paused at my ass, I smirked.

"You want me to finish Hakkai?"

"No, it's fine." He was gentle, but thorough. Hakkai pulled the shower head down and rinsed me off. "There all clean, except your face."

I turned and looked up. "Ok go for it." I squeezed my eyes shut and held my breath. I held onto his hips to steady myself. He washed me quickly and I rinsed.

He then re-lathered the cloth and started on himself. "Hey Kai, what was it like being a teacher?"

"Ah, well you want to talk about this now?" He was half way through washing himself.

"Sure"

"I liked it; in fact I was happiest when I was teaching. I was very young for a teacher, but my students respected me. I remember one young girl so smitten with me she would leave me flowers she had picked from the school garden. Sometimes she would bring in a slice of pie her mother made. She would tell me I was too skinny since I didn't have a wife to care for me." He chuckled. "I miss those simple days." He shut the water off and opened the curtain.

"I like the way you smile when you are really happy, it's nice." I wrapped a towel around myself and dried off.

"You are full of compliments tonight Goku." He dried himself and his hair, wrapping the towel around his waist when he was done.

"It's true, even Gojyo says so." I captured him around the waist and squeezed.

"He does? Well let's not think of Gojyo right now, let's go lie down." He pulled me back into the bedroom.

We snuggled in the crisp sheets. I faced him and draped my leg over his hip. "Feels so good to be in a bed." I wiggled around.

"Yes, but better that you are with me." He nuzzled his nose into my damp neck. "I know that was a lame line, sorry. I'm not good with pillow talk."

"Don't be, I don't really care. All I care about is being with you. I don't need fancy talk to make me like you." I kissed him and rolled him to his back, nudging my damp hair under his chin.

"Ok…oh that tickles." He laughed. Hakkai reached up and took my face in his slender hands. "I want you so much it scares me Goku. I have denied these feelings far too long and…and if I make you feel uncomfortable at any time tell me and I'll stop."

He was so serious it made me nervous. "Don't be scared Hakkai, just touch me please."

He brought my lips to his and I melted yet again. We were both hard already from the shower and I ground myself into him. The same heat enveloped my body as last time. He teased my overly warm skin with those long fingers of his and I heard myself moan.

"I like that sound." Hakkai wiggled free and moved down my body pressing his lips to my stomach, hips and down my thighs.

I couldn't help but make those little noises, it felt so good. I felt safe and wanted, along with the new sensations Hakkai was causing. "Kai…please" I pushed my hips up, looking for a way to ease the want. I tugged him up kissed him deeply letting him know I really wanted more.

"Goku" Hakkai whispered against my lips. His mouth was warm and it made my body tingle. "We need one thing before we go any further." He reached into his bag by the bed and brought out a small tube. "I don't want you to hurt me; it's been a long time since I let someone enter me."

'_Did he mean what I thought he meant?' _ I looked at him confused. "Kai, you mean you want me to...ah….do it to you?"

"I think for your first time it would be best, I don't mind Goku." He gave me a look that I've never seen before. I think it may have been lust.

"But, I don't know how." _'Oh crap, now I was totally freaked out. He wants me to…ok just breath it's not like you haven't thought about it.' _ I took my own advice and took a deep breath.

"Don't worry." He rolled us over and I looked up into his green eyes. "You are so strong Goku, I love that about you." He settled himself over my hips.

I tried to push up and touch more of his skin, but he held me with his thighs. I forget sometimes just how strong he was too. I squirmed under his body. "Kai..show me please." I tried not to sound like the scared virgin I was.

"Yes, just a moment." He had spread the ointment on his fingers and I assumed he was going to make his own body ready for me. He closed his eyes for a moment and his thighs trembled. His body was arched so he could reach back and work his long fingers inside himself.

I felt my breath speed up and my heart was beating too hard. It was the most erotic thing I have ever seen. My Hakkai, usually so calm and perfect was panting slightly with a blush spreading across his cheeks "Oh...Kai, I…want more." I couldn't believe the way I was begging, but my body was on fire.

"Me too." He leaned down and kissed me like he never had before. It was enough to make my body surge with new wanting. "Hold still for a moment." He rested his head on my forehead and then eased back.

"Hakkai…mmm." He had pushed himself down on to my erection and I nearly came. He was tight and warm, nothing like I have ever known. My body started shaking and I wanted to thrust up, but he held me tight.

"Not yet, let me make you feel good Goku." His voice was soft and breathless. He rocked his hips and gasped.

I was overwhelmed by the feeling and I had tears wanting to escape. He kissed my neck, cheeks and finally my lips. Hakkai put his hands on my chest and began moving. His green eyes were so bright as I looked up. "You can move too now Goku."

All I could do was moan as I pushed up to meet his downward thrust. His eyes widened. "Oh…Goku, do that again." I did and he moaned low in his throat. I wasn't real sure what I was doing to make him feel good, but I was glad I could.

"Kai..I feel..ah too much.." I couldn't make the words form. All I could do was bury myself in his warmth as I sped closer to the edge. I used my strength and sat up, throwing my arms around his neck. This caused him to tip back and wrap his legs around my waist. "I won't let you fall." He was so light I was able to push him to his back without slipping out.

"Ah….oh my" He smiled wickedly and urged me to move with his legs. He gripped my shoulders and opened his legs wider. "I'm so close; don't stop now that you have me pinned and willing."

I followed my body's instincts. I shifted my hold to his hips and thrust in deep and hard. He seemed to like it because he gasped and then cried out. I began to feel the tingle of climax, so I reached down and stroked Hakkai as well. "Together" I panted.

A few more thrusts and Hakkai spilled hot and sticky over my hand. The smell of his release and the feeling of his muscles tightening caused me to follow him. I came, shaking and sweaty my eyes fixed on Hakkai's. "Fu..ckk" I growled.

Hakkai eased me down to his chest and stroked my back as I recovered. He rolled us to our side and moved his hips, letting me slip out easily. "Goku" He whispered against my neck.

"Yeah" I muttered, nuzzling into his shoulder.

"Let me get you some water, stay here."

Like I needed to be told to stay, I wasn't planning on moving again till morning. I heard the water running and then he returned a few moments later with a glass of water and a towel.

"Here." He handed me the water. "You can use this to clean up." He laid the cloth on my leg. Pulling his boxers back on, Hakkai slipped back into bed.

I turned my back to him and cleaned up. I decided to put my sleeping shorts on, never knew when an attack would come. I hated it when I had to fight naked. Returning to Hakkai's side I curled up next to him. "Hakkai, that was.." I didn't know how to finish.

"I know." He tightened his arm around my waist and kissed the back of my neck. "Now let's sleep."

"Ok, night Kai." I wiggled my ass against his hips and smiled. It felt so good to have him next to me.

Some ass was pounding on the door. I reached over to nudge Hakkai, but he wasn't there. I opened my eyes to find him fully dressed opening the door to a really pissed off Sanzo.

"Stupid fool...asking for you." That's all I could make out.

"I'll be right back Goku; it seems our kappa friend has not learned his lesson about fighting." He sighed and picked up his medical kit.

"Ok." I looked at Sanzo. He seemed uncomfortable, but stepped inside anyway.

"Well I hope you're happy." He sat on the edge of the bed.

"About what Sanzo? Is Gojyo ok?" I sat up; glad I put pants on last night.

"The fool is fine. He crawled in early this morning all cut up and happy. Seems he stumbled across a woman being harassed and decided to play the hero." He pulled out a cigarette and lit up. "I just hope you realize the trouble this' He waved his hand over the bed. "is going to cause."

"I don't follow you Sanzo." I got out of bed and cracked the window. Felling the cool breeze on my skin made me have to find the bathroom. I left Sanzo scowling as I relieved myself and brushed my teeth.

"Did it ever occur to you that the enemy could find out about your little love affair and use that to hurt you or any one of us?"

"I won't let him get hurt." I clenched my fists at my side. "I've become so much stronger."

"Strength won't save you if they find a way to get to Hakkai. Look at what happened with Chin Yisou, he fell apart. The closer we get the stronger and smarter our enemies become." He stood and sighed.

"I know Sanzo." I tugged at his robe. "Are you sure you're not made just cuz' I spend more time with Hakkai now? You are my sun and always will be, but I want love just like everyone else."

His face was calm and he ruffled my hair. "I know saru, just don't get hurt."

That was the closest Sanzo would ever come to saying he loved me too. He snorted and turned to go. I chuckled and he shot me a glare. "I love ya too Sanzo."

"Fuck, you'd think you were a bunch of silly girls the way you guys are acting." He shut the door firmly behind him.

I had no idea what he was talking about. I shrugged and got started on packing up my stuff. I hopped in the shower and felt a blush creep across my face as I remembered one of the best night of my life started in this spot.

"Goku" I heard Hakkai's voice while I was drying my hair.

"In here" I reached over and opened the door.

"Sanzo wants to leave after breakfast, will you be ready?" He leaned in the doorway.

"Yeah. How's Gojyo?" I tugged my shirt over my head and slipped my arms around his waist.

"He will be fine. I had to give him a few stitches above his eye, but that's what he gets for being foolhardy and taking on several ruffians at once without help." He smiled and stroked my back. "Shall we head down to join the other two?"

"Sure." I let go so I could find my boots.

"Did Sanzo give you trouble while I was gone?" He looked unsure of his question.

"No, he's fine. He was just worried that the bad guys might use you to get to me." I tied my shoes. "I think he understands though."

"Ah, well that's good he understands, but I won't let you down Goku." His expression was fierce and I found myself understanding why he may have killed all those youkai for Kanan.

Once he decided to care for someone he was almost scary in his devotion. I chuckled to myself at using words that Hakkai might say. Maybe we will be good for each other after all.

"I know you won't Hakkai." I grinned and pounced him once more before we went downstairs. He kissed me back and smiled.

"Let's go see if we can catch Sanzo being nice to Gojyo." He whispered.

"Yeah right, but it would give me something new to tease him about." I held his hand as we walked down the hall. Soon as we came to the stairs I gave him a quick kiss. "Kai, I.." I just smiled.

"I know me too." He ran a teasing finger over my ear.

I burst out with a happy laugh and thundered down the stairs because Gojyo was hogging all the good food.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N thanks for all the kind reviews. I had intended this to be a one shot, but it seems I can't leave my readers hanging. This is the last chapter, but not the last of Hakkai and Goku. bows deep Thank you for reading my unskilled words.

Three days later, my ass was stuck to my seat, but somewhat content watching Hakkai drive. I loved the soft part on the back of his neck, made me itch to lick it. The only thing disturbing my thoughts was Gojyo as he fussed with his stitches and whined to Hakkai. He was draped across the back of Hakkai's seat, talking quietly. I tried not to feel jealous, but it was hard. I know they have been friends for a long time and I also know all about feeling close to someone that saved your life, but jeez does he have to touch him while he talks.

"I will take them out tonight if they bother you that much, but it may cause the wound to open up again." Hakkai reached back and patted Gojyo's head.

The kappa grinned at Sanzo. "See at least someone cares."

"Shut up you fool. If you hadn't been acting stupid you wouldn't have gotten those stitches in the first place." Sanzo didn't even open his eyes.

Gojyo stuck his tongue out and I snickered. "You shut it to monkey, I'm sleeping."

"Ok Sanzo." I pushed Gojyo back away from Hakkai.

Hakkai looked in the rearview mirror and smiled. I couldn't tell if it was for me or Gojyo. "We should be at a village by early evening, so just hold out a little longer."

We rolled into a decent sized town just about dinnertime. I was starving and really bored. "I call dibs on the shower first."

"No way, you didn't even fight that hard today small balls." Gojyo kicked me. "I on the other hand worked my ass off."

"Now, now this inn looks big enough to have more than one shower." Hakkai stood between us, stroking Hakaryuu's neck. He turned to Sanzo. "Would you like me to make the arrangements Sanzo?"

"Make sure I get a room to myself if you can, I'm sick of you three." He scowled.

"I'm rooming with Hakkai." I shouted, running inside.

Once we got settled and cleaned up, I headed downstairs to find some food. Gojyo and Hakkai had already showered and beat me to the table. As I was walking down the stairs, I watched as Gojyo moved in close again and whispered in Hakkai's ear. I wish I knew what they were talking about cuz I really hate secrets. I stopped walking when I saw Hakkai's hand caress the back of Gojyo's head. '_Damn it they're doing it again. Can't that hentai kappa just leave him alone? Doesn't he know Hakkai is mine now?'_

Gojyo scooted closer and flung his arm around Hakkai's shoulder. '_That's it; I'm going to punch that bastard.'_

"Oh, Goku there you are we were waiting for you." Hakkai smiled at me.

"Gojyo I need to talk to you for a minute." I knew my face was angry, but didn't care.

"What now?" He looked at Hakkai and then back at me. "Fine, let's go outside."

He strolled outside and dropped down on a bench on the porch. "What?"

"Don't what me you ass. Why are ya hanging all over Hakkai? Don't you know I love him?" I shoved my hands in my pockets so I wouldn't punch him.

"I know you do. I was just talking to my best friend, no need to freak out." He looked at me like I was being stupid.

"Then stop touching him." I heard the growl in my voice.

"Ok stop right there kid. I have been just as happy to see Hakkai smile for real as you, but I will not stop being his friend just because you can't handle our relationship."

"Relationship? Looks to me like you're trying to get in his pants." I was really getting pissed.

"Just calm down Goku, I don't need this crap from you too." He lit a cigarette and leaned his head against the wall closing his eyes. "Just back off."

I stopped and closed my mouth. He looked sort of sad and that made most of my anger disappear. "What do you mean from me too?" I sat down and poked him with my foot.

"Nothing, just…you don't need to worry about me and Kai so stop bitchin'."

"What's up Gojyo?" I had forgotten that I was pissed off at him.

He looked at me and ruffled my hair. "Nothing I can't handle. Now I think it's time we go back and have some dinner." He snuffed out his smoke and stood. "I don't know about you, but I'm so hungry I could eat a monkey." He grabbed me in a head lock and bit my ear.

"Ow…hey stupid kappa." I wiggled all the way back to the table.

"Oh my, are you two fighting again?" Hakkai sounded amused.

Gojyo let me go and we both claimed our seats. "Naw, just a little misunderstanding." I took a sniff and grinned. "Yumm"

Hakkai placed all my favorite foods on my plate and did the same for Gojyo. Sanzo grumbled and sat smoking. "Not eating Sanzo?"

"No, I'm fine." He was quieter than usual. "I think I'm just going to go to bed. Gojyo you are rooming with those two, I need some peace and quiet." He rose and went upstairs.

I looked at Gojyo as he followed Sanzo's movements with his red eyes. "What's wrong with Sanzo?"

"Don't look at me, he hates me." Gojyo shrugged.

"Now Gojyo, he's probley just tired." Hakkai tried to make him feel better.

"Hey why don't we play a few hands of poker when we get done here?" I felt bad for Gojyo. I didn't know what was happening, but a sad kappa is depressing.

"Sure, I'll go get my stuff. Give my your key Hakkai." He held out his hand. "I'm stuffed anyway, so I'll meet you guys upstairs.

I turned to Hakkai. "What's happening?"

"I do believe I was wrong about them." He looked puzzled.

"What ya mean?" I leaned on my elbow to look at him properly.

"Well, I don't know if I should be the one to tell you. Gojyo should be if he wants us to know."

I had to smile when he said us. It was like he was starting to get used to the idea we were together for more than sex and friendship. "I'll make him spill it when we play poker."

"That's what I was trying to do before you got jealous and pulled him outside." He sipped his tea.

Crap...I scrunched my shoulders. "Sorry, I just thought..."

"That he was trying to seduce me? Goku, I've had years of practice avoiding getting caught up in his advances. He's an attractive, smooth talker but I have learned not to be swayed by that." Hakkai stood up and looked down at me. "Trust me Goku." He walked away.

'_Well double crap. I hope I didn't blow my chance at a little loving tonight.' _I followed behind him a few moments later. I could hear Gojyo laughing as I entered the room.

He had a beer in hand and Hakaryuu was sticking his tongue into the can. "Hakkai, I think your pet wants one of his own."

"Ew, Gojyo now you're going to get dragon scales all over your body." I teased.

"Well it's better than the monkey fur Hakkai gets all over his." He seemed to be in a better mood, but he's a good faker.

"Gojyo that is uncalled for. I'll have you know Goku does not shed." Hakkai winked at me and picked up his dragon.

The look on the kappa's face was priceless. "Like I wanted to know that."

"Oh I don't know, Goku is pretty cute, I'm sure you thought about it." His green eyes had a hit of mischief in them.

I could not believe the words I heard come out of Hakkai's mouth. "Hakkai..shit" I flopped in the floor. "Just get the cards."

He smiled and pulled a deck from his backpack. "So what's your fancy?"

Gojyo leered and cracked another beer. He handed one to Hakkai and hesitated before he gave me one too. "Well that's a loaded question Hakkai, but five card stud will have to do."

We settled into a few hands and a few beers too. The sun had set couple of hours ago and I started feeling warm and tingly. The alcohol was making me want to touch Hakkai. My jealousy and irritation towards Gojyo had disappeared, replaced with a comfortable warmth. I scooted closer and lay my head on his shoulder. "I'm warm."

"That's the beer Goku." Hakkai ticked my neck with his fingertips and kissed my head.

"Fuck if you guys are going to get all sappy, I'm leaving." Gojyo stood up and stretched. "Maybe a hot chick will let me have my way with her."

"Gojyo please, I'll behave." Hakkai sat straight and dealt him another hand.

"Yeah, stay Gojyo we're having fun." I looked up at him and grinned. "Sanzo is off pouting and he's not here to smack us, so stay."

"Yeah, well fuck Sanzo he's an asshole," He grabbed the bottle of vodka that had been on the table.

"Gojyo, it may be better to talk it out, we will listen." Hakkai squeezed my hand. "Right Goku?"

"Huh? Oh sure." Maybe I wouldn't have to beat it out of him.

He grumbled and tried to give Hakkai the 'piss off' look, but it didn't work. "Fine, fuck it." He took a big swig and set the bottle it in front of Hakkai. "I've just been so….keyed up and well...ever since you guys were...ya know." He waved his hands. "Anyway, I told Sanzo I wanted to sleep with him, just to release some of the stress ya know, for both of us and he about killed me. Now all we do is fight and shit and I didn't even touch him not even a fucking kiss…nothing." He crossed the room and sat on the bed.

Hakkai sighed and sat next to his friend. "I'm sorry Gojyo."

"Yeah me too, but I'm sorry to bug you guys about this crap, it's stupid really."

I picked up the bottle and handed it to him. "Gojyo, we're your friends and it matters to us. This stupid mission is hard on all of us and it's not like we can find much comfort with strangers."

They sat looking at me like I had two heads. "Who knew the monkey was so smart?"

Gojyo recovered first.

"I told you there is more to him than what you see." Hakkai gazed at me proudly.

I blushed at the compliment. "So I think you should give him up and sleep with us."

"What! You're crazy monkey." Gojyo jumped up and shook me by the shoulders.

"No not sleep like sex, but stay with us in the same room." I didn't really mean it the way it came out, but the beer was making me say stupid things.

"Oh I don't know Goku; it might make him feel better." Hakkai stood behind Gojyo and rested a hand on his shoulder.

"You serious Hakkai?" Gojyo said it before I could. "You truly are a crazy mother fucker." He shook his head.

I have thought a few times about what it would be like with Gojyo because; well the man was sex on legs. "Hakkai are you drunk?"

"I assure you, I'm sober." He sat back down on the bed smiled at us both. "It was a mere suggestion, no need to take it seriously."

"Oh no, you can't just throw shit like that out and not back it up." Gojyo towered over Hakkai. He looked back at me with a weird look in his eye. "Can you back it up Kai? What about Goku?"

I didn't want to admit that this whole weird conversation had turned me on a little. Besides I could smell the pheromones both of them were giving off. I guess the hentai kappa was rubbing off on me. "What about me Gojyo, afraid I can out perform you?"

He laughed. "No, I know you can't. You were a virgin until what, a month or so ago? I've got years on ya bud."

"Now boys, no need to fight." Hakkai had leaned slightly closer to Gojyo.

I think they do that unconsciously. Even though Gojyo knows about our relationship he still craves the closeness he and Hakkai have always shared. "Sorry." I muttered.

"Don't be sorry kid." All of a sudden Gojyo was too close and holding my arm. He tipped my chin up.

I held his gaze. "Gojyo, you ok?"

"Will be pretty soon." He moved closer and my heart started pounding. _Oh no, oh no he was not going to kiss me…shit shit shit.' _Warm, rough lips pressed against mine and I froze. He kissed me tenderly and I began to relax. "Not bad monkey, not bad."

Hakkai had moved closer and wrapped his arms around my waist. "You alright with this Goku?"

"With what, having the kappa kiss me?" I leaned back against Hakkai's chest.

He slipped his tongue over my ear and then whispered. "Gojyo needs to know he's loved, he is a sensual creature and to him sex is love."

Gojyo pressed his tall body against mine and reached over me and brought Hakkai's lips to his. I tipped my head up and watched as Hakkai used his beautiful mouth to tempt Gojyo's tongue. "Ok guys, I get it."

I slipped out from between them. Honestly, I wanted to see what Hakkai looked like when he kissed. I usually have my eyes closed or too involved to see. He really was beautiful and I grew hard just watching. Gojyo had wrapped his long arms around Hakkai's skinny waist; they looked good together. '_I wonder if we look that 'right' when I kiss Hakkai.'_ I stripped off my shirt and shorts, but kept my boxers on; I didn't want to look too anxious. I couldn't help but make that little noise Hakkai likes when I noticed how hard they both were.

Hakkai moved away from Gojyo. "Goodness Gojyo, I do believe you have lived up to your reputation."

"Just wait, I'm only getting started." He took his shirt off and turned to me. "Look who is raring to go? He always like this?"

"Goku doesn't hold back Gojyo, you know that." Hakkai kissed me softly and I could taste Gojyo on his lips. He pulled off his shirt as well, adding it to my pile.

"Good thing we got a big bed." I jumped on it and grinned. Once I decided that this was ok, I wanted to get to it.

Gojyo just laughed. He tugged his jeans off; leave it to the kappa not to be wearing underwear. Hakkai raised his eyebrow and I giggled.

"What? Can't a guy want a bit of freedom?" He lay down next to me and moved his battle rough fingertips over my skin.

"That tickles Gojyo." I squirmed under his touch.

"Let me kiss you again Goku, the other one was too quick." His voice was low and sexy and the way he said my name, I understood now why the girls fell for him.

I moved to my back and looked up at him. "You are almost as handsome as Hakkai."

"Yeah? Well he is a smokin' hott guy, so I must be alright then." He lowered his mouth to mine and I threw my arms around his neck. His kiss was great, but he kisses from experience where Hakkai kisses from the heart. Still it felt really good.

Hakkai must have finished stripping because the next thing I knew his hands were on my chest and Gojyo was sliding down my body. The kappa kissed and nipped at my skin and I moaned into Hakkai's mouth. He broke off the kiss and looked into my eyes. "Gods Goku." He closed his eyes and kissed me again just as Gojyo flicked his tongue over my cock.

"Ah..shit" I hissed. He was good I had to admit, but not out loud. I moaned and twitched against him and Hakkai. When I felt the wet tip of his tongue against my entrance, I squeaked and tensed.

"Gojyo..he's, ah I haven't yet." Hakkai soothed my nerves with soft fingertips on my stomach.

"Oh, ya mean you let him...well I'll leave that for you then." Gojyo moved easily up next to me. "I have no problem with you or Kai taking me as long as it feels good." His fingers were so warm.

I rolled to face him and ran my fingers over his chest and down to his stomach. Hakkai was still sitting by my shoulder. I could hear his breath speed up and I knew he was just waiting to see what I did. "Don't worry, I may be new at this, but Kai will make up for it."

"I'm sure he will, but let's see what makes you moan Goku." Gojyo leaned against my fingers.

I reached down and brought our erections together, rubbing the tips with my thumb. "Oh.. do it again." He pushed into my hand.

Hakkai had moved away and by the smell, he had found the lube. He had that look in his eyes and I knew we were in for a wild night. Most of the time he was a playful, gentle lover, but some nights when the fighting was rough or it was raining really bad he would get really intense. He would want me to take him hard and fast, even bite and hold him down. Tonight he had almost the same look.

I was busy exploring Gojyo's body when I felt the kappa move between my legs. I looked up to see Hakkai guiding him to his knees and pushing his head towards my cock. "Suck him off Gojyo while I prepare your body to accept mine."

Gojyo smirked and licked me base to tip. "Looks like he wants to be seme tonight."

Hakkai simply nodded and eased his fingers deep inside Gojyo. I knew from the kappa's moans and movements that Hakkai was teasing that place I love to touch inside of him. I moaned as Gojyo sucked harder and faster. After a few moments, Hakkai caught my eyes and my body shivered with just that heated look. '_I really love this man_.' His expression was so serious and he pushed his hips forward making Gojyo gasp.

"Oh...fuck Kai...mmm" he wiggled his ass forcing Hakkai to put a strong hand on his back.

Soon everything became hazy. I didn't know whose hands were touching who. It was all legs, tongues and fingertips. Warm skin slid against even hotter skin slippery with sweat. I swear the moans I heard were my own, but the noise came from someone's chest under my fingers. At one point, I was thrusting hard into Hakkai, I think, and there were teeth on my neck making me groan. Hakkai's voice was soft and full of quiet panting; while Gojyo was making it known to everyone he was enjoying himself. Again, I felt the brush of a tongue at my entrance, but I didn't freeze up this time. I assumed it was Hakkai because the touch was tender, but I couldn't see his face. Gojyo had a hand in my hair petting my head. The warm fingers just circled the muscle and that alone made me sigh in pleasure.

My body was teased to the breaking point, then all touch stopped and I panted my arms and legs shook. I found myself back where I started, on my back with Gojyo between my legs. He was putting all his skill in his movements as he sucked and licked me. Hakkai was stunning; he had his head bowed slightly as he thrust into his best friend. He had a light sheen of sweat over his chest and his stomach muscles flexed as he made Gojyo moan. His body trembled slightly signaling he was close to release. I couldn't hold on any longer and I arched my back and came in Gojyo's mouth.

He grunted and swallowed; I fell back limp and panting. Hakkai bit his lip and snapped his hips hard. "Ahhh.."

"Yeah...harder, shit Kai I'm close" Gojyo's hair hung down over my stomach and it tickled a little, but I didn't move. I couldn't move my eyes were focused on Hakkai. I wondered if he would look that beautiful if he took me in the same way.

"Yes Gojyo...just a moment." he held the kappa's hips tight and slammed into him once more. I splash of hot stickiness hit my thigh signaling Gojyo's fulfillment. Hakkai moved a little still, riding out the waves of pleasure.

We all collapsed in a pile of arms and legs. I closed my eyes and tried to slow my breathing. "Wow that was good."

"Sure was kid, sure was." Gojyo ruffled my hair and kissed my cheek. "Get some rest you look tired."

"Well yeah ya dumb kappa." I poked him in the ribs and closed my eyes for a bit. I was wiped out. It's not like Hakkai has never pushed me to the edge of exhaustion before, but this was different. Must have been the intense feeling of adding Gojyo to our play.

I lay there on the edge of sleep when I heard Hakkai's soft voice and Gojyo's reply.

"Come on Kai, just a bit more you know I just can't live without a second go around."

"Now Gojyo that would be selfish of us."

"What's really selfish is that you never let me have a taste of you before, shit Hakkai if I knew you were that good I would have jumped you back home." He must have buried his face in Hakkai's neck because his voice became all muffled.

"I think you know why I didn't make my interest known Gojyo. We both had our own issues to deal with and it would have ended in disaster. We are better off as friends not lovers."

"But now you have Goku."

"Yes and I care for him deeply." Hakkai's voice was warm.

"But you love me a little right?"

"Gojyo, of course I do, but …." He became quiet and I tried to lie real still. I have always wondered how they talked to each other when no one was around.

"But you love the monkey more, I understand. Ok, well not really cuz' he's such a pain in the ass, but I suppose he does have his good points. He's good in bed, not as good as me, but in a few years maybe."

I quietly smirked at the compliment whether he meant it as one or not. What I didn't understand or felt comfortable about was all this talk about Gojyo loving Hakkai. I know I talked to Kai about it, but call me insecure. I shifted slightly and brushed up against Gojyo's back.

"So what's so great about him?" the kappa was being nosy again, but I was curious about Hakkai's answer too.

"Well, he reminds me a lot of her; the good parts. His unselfish way of loving, the innocence and wonder it makes my small selfish heart feel good." His voice was tender.

My cheeks grew hot and I knew I was blushing. I shifted again looking for warmth and the feel of skin against mine.

Gojyo just grunted his understanding. I shifted slightly looking for warmth and the feel of skin against mine. "He's twitching in his sleep." Gojyo patted my hip.

"He does that, but he'll settle soon." Hakkai chuckled.

"Hakkai, I want you again" I felt him move closer to him.

"Gojyo, please don't tempt me."

"But I want to feel you Kai. Let me take you this time; I want to know what it's like to have you wrapped around me." He was turning on the charm; I could hear it in his voice.

In a way, I wanted Gojyo to make love to Hakkai even if all the talk of love did bother me. The thought of them together made my mouth go dry and my heart to skip a beat. I wet my lips and felt myself grow hard at the image of Kai's pale skin wrapped up in Gojyo's darker. I rolled over and saw the kappa's tall body covering Hakkai's.

"But…ah Gojyo I can't. It was fine while Goku was enjoying himself as well." He turned his face towards me when he felt me move.

"It's ok, I don't mind watching...really." He looked at me with wide green eyes.

"See, its ok." Gojyo bent his head and nipped at Hakkai's neck.

"No, trust me Gojyo it would make things too complicated."

They looked at each other and Gojyo moved back to his side. I don't quite know what happened, but maybe Hakkai will tell me later.

"Yeah, I was just being greedy." Gojyo pulled me to his chest and then squeezed me between then. "Look monkey in the middle." He laughed.

"I'm not a monkey you ass." He was still a cockroach even if he did make me feel great.

"Yes, well I think we should get some sleep." Hakkai ran his fingers down my hip and settled his hand on my stomach.

I was warm and comfortable between them and I soon fell into a deep relaxed sleep.

I was startled awake by a very loud noise. I first thought youkai had attacked, but it was just Sanzo shooting things.

"Someone had better start explaining this fucking mess or I will kick the shit out of you all." Whoa, he was really pissed.

Hakkai was the first to sit up. He reached over to find his glasses and then peered at Sanzo. Even naked and in bed with two men Hakkai managed to appear in total control of the situation.

"Well Sanzo, as you can see that we were sleeping. Since you insisted you have a room to yourself it forced us to share with poor Gojyo." He had that scary reasonable voice thing going on.

"That's not what I meant. Why are you three naked and cuddling?" He spat the words out like just saying the word cuddling was poison.

"It really is none of your business, but I will be polite and answer your question."

Gojyo and I just sat there looking from Hakkai to Sanzo. I hoped they wouldn't get into a fight again.

Hakkai continued. "Being lovers, Goku and I prefer to sleep in the nude. As for Gojyo, well that really is none of your business." He folded his arms and gave Sanzo a look that usually sent most people running.

He sneered and raised his gun. "I told you I did not want to hear that shit from your mouth. Now you three have five seconds to get your asses downstairs."

I put my hand over my mouth so Sanzo wouldn't hear me giggle. "Holy shit he's so pissed."

"Hey Hakkai way to put nasty images in his head, now he'll have picture of you and the monkey doing the jungle rumble." Gojyo got up to take a shower.

"That wasn't my intention." Hakkai found a pair of boxers to put on while he was looking for a change of clothes.

"Did you mean it Hakkai?" I was warm and didn't want to move.

"Mean what Goku?" He turned holding a pair of jeans.

"About us being lovers?"

He cocked his head to the side while he thought about his answer. "Yes Goku, I meant it. Does it bother you?"

I grinned and snuggled into the pillows. "No, I like the sound of it. I want to tell people that you're my lover." He sat on the bed and stroked my hair.

"You may not want to say anything to Sanzo, it seems to irritate him." He brushed the top of my ear making a shiver run down my spine.

"Yeah good idea." I rolled to my back do I could look at him. "I really love you."

"I know you do and I'm beginning to love you as well." He actually blushed when he said that.

"But please don't compare me to Kanan. I have no intention of breaking your heart." I took a hold of his hand because I knew he would try to move away.

"You heard me talking to Gojyo last night?" He fidgeted with the blankets.

"Yeah, I'm not mad or anything….well not really. I just can't understand why you can tell Gojyo you love him, but not me." I didn't mean to raise my voice. I guess it bothered me more than I realized.

"Ah, you heard that too. You have to understand that the love I feel for Gojyo is not like what I feel for you. We have a comfortable relationship that is more than just friendship but not like lovers. He saved my life and helped me understand a few things about myself. You must have heard my response when he wanted to know why we didn't get deeper involved before this mission." He had moved to rest his back against the headboard I rested my head on his leg.

"Something about too many problems?" I stroked his bare leg.

"That's correct. He is looking for something I could never provide and he is too casual when it comes to relationships for me to get what I need." He still seemed a little sad about it though.

"What about me do I give you what you need?" I looked and he smiled at me.

"I am still growing into our relationship, but you definitely make me feel good. You are not afraid to show your emotions and you love whole-heartedly. I need that to help me forget what a vile creature I am."

"Hakkai please don't say that. There is nothing wrong with being a youkai." I sat up and looked him in the eye. "Don't ever let me hear you talk bad about yourself."

He held up his hands in mock defeat. "Alright, alright….I'll behave."

I chuckled. "Hopefully not too much, I like it when you're naughty too."

His face was caught between a playful smirk and a knowing smile. "Well, I can show you that side of me later. But now we need to get ready or Sanzo will make good on his promise to shoot us."

"Can I ask you something else?" I decided to get up and find my pants.

"Sure." He had his back to me.

"You think Gojyo is going to be ok? I mean of course he is, but if he ever needs.." _'Crap I'm getting more like the hentai cockroach everyday.' _

"I'm sure he will be fine. I'm just glad you were alright with the situation last night." He pulled a shirt over his head. "But I'll let him know you wouldn't mind him joining us now and then." His smile was mischievous and it made me laugh.

"Yeah well not too often I like having you all to myself." I grabbed him around the waist and buried my nose in his back.

"I like that as well." He turned and hugged me tight.

"Fuck me; you guys are like a couple of teen-agers." Gojyo had stepped into the room with a towel around his neck and his jeans hanging low on his hips.

"Better than a grumpy monk." Hakkai jabbed back.

"True buddy, so true." He walked by me and ruffled my hair like he always does. "Thanks for sharing last night Goku, I needed that."

"Yeah well don't get used to it Hakkai is my man." I stuck my tongue out at him.

Gojyo and Hakkai cracked up. I shook my head and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. When I returned Hakkai switched me places and I was left with Gojyo.

"Ya know I was joking right? I like seeing Hakkai happy." He tugged at a stubborn knot in his hair.

"Gojyo…we're cool with each other right, I mean you're not going to fuss at me about what happened last night right." I sat on the bed and watched him.

"Naw, I ain't going to say shit. You just take care of him or I'll kick your ass." He narrowed his eyes.

"You know I will ya ass. I love him just as much if not more than you do." I kicked him in the shin.

"Shit kid, I get it ok damn. Besides, him and I have talked all about this shit." He put a hand on my shoulder and brushed his lips on my ear. "Just love him like he deserves, I can't so you have to."

I shivered from the words and from the memory of his lips on other parts of my body. I backed up and looked into his red eyes. "I will. I understand now about you two and I will do my best to make him happy."

"Keep who happy?" Hakkai came out of the bathroom dressed but his hair was still wet.

I left Gojyo and pressed my cheek to his chest. "You Hakkai."

"Ah, well I think that it be in all our interests that we make Sanzo happy and head down stair. I think we have gone well over our five seconds." He kissed my head.

We all headed down stairs and then jumped into Hakaryuu to continue our mission.

A/N thanks again for your support. I know this was a bit sappy, but too much sake will do that to ya.


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